Let's talk about consumerism...

...Because weddings have a lot to do with it.

I was 12, sitting in the front row of my uncle Ray’s wedding, when I underwent the transformation into a wedding enthusiast. Of course, I was pretty bored, being an obnoxious 12-year-old and all, until they got to the vows. I just thought it was so beautiful to see people sharing their love in front of all their friends and family.

And so I fell in love with that idea of being in love so much that you want everyone to know about it. But slowly, over a 9-year period, that love of love has become associated with the delight of the perfect wedding flower arrangement, the sparkliest engagement ring, etc.

This is particularly evident to me in the wake of Valentines Day. Why are women so obsessed with getting a dozen roses and chocolates? Valentine’s Day is supposed to be about showing your love—and, yes, spending some hard-earned money on a girl does show you care. But how has it happened that we’ve come to expect those things on a completely arbitrary holiday?

Sitting next to Julie, a fellow psych major who’s been married for two years, I looked down at her finger hoping to get a glimpse or two at a sparkly diamond. I saw only a thin gold band. I suddenly remembered that first enthralling experience of seeing people celebrate their love and I thought: how could a wedding band be any more perfect than Julie’s? (Of course, gold mining is terrible for the environment, but you get my point.)

And even as I write, it’s hard for me to separate the diamond from the engagement. The neurons have been firing in that same pattern—diamond, wedding, expensive, wedding, flowers, wedding—for so long now.

I guess we have to face the fact that weddings, just like holidays like Valentine’s Day, have become mass marketing strategies to get us to buy, buy, buy. I mean, how many of us really know anything about Saint Valentine?

We’re exhausting the world’s resources because of our desire to consume. A 2006 article from the Boston Globe reported that: “Americans consume like no other nation—using three times the amount of water per capita than the world average and nearly 25 percent of the world's energy, despite having 5 percent of the global population; and producing five times more daily waste than the average in poor countries.”

That’s why all the green brides and grooms out there need to adhere to tip no. 4: stick to a personal theme. Remember what your wedding is meant to do—celebrate your love, not impress your guests with giant balls of roses and 10-foot tall cakes.

Here are some other things to keep in mind:

-Don’t register for things you don’t need. The $40 spent on the 4-in-1 hot dog cooker, which will sit in the back of your cabinet after being used once just to laugh at, can feed eight kids for a month in a foreign country like Laos. In fact, small gifts under $40 can do a lot of social good.

-Don’t purchase things for your wedding that you will only use once. Invest in your dress (so that you can always wear it—see the last entry), don’t get expensive, crazy shoes you’ll only wear once, and get glassware and decorations that you’ll want to keep in your home for years to come.

-There are some people (like my and my boyfriend’s parents) who would travel to or from China to be at your wedding. But when you’re making your guest list, be aware of how much people will have to travel to get to your wedding. Having a small wedding will be so much more personal, anyway.